Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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