I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
