You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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