out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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