that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
