I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
