Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
