One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
