Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need a beard to bite.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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