Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
