I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
