I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
