Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
