you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.