Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..