The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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