Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
