You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
