Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's blow job season.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
