is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
