I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
