i wish my penis had a tongue
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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