All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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