everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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