He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
