my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
