I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
