sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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