Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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