PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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