Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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