It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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