I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
