you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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