4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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