do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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