it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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