last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
