i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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