it was like eating out sand paper
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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