Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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