I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
