Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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