are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
