In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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