Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
