we have officially lost it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
