i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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