And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
