what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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