My nipple is on Facebook.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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