I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
