another moral hangover. fuck.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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