you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize