I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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