dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
