Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
