i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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