I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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