you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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