So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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