Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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